Gratitude Post #4- Stuffed Animals

Now, I know this is not a very "masculine" thing to be grateful for. However, I've had quite a few experiences that I wanted to share.

Due to my sister's developmental disabilities, she never outgrew her childhood teddy bear. Honestly, she never outgrew any of her stuffed animals.

Whenever any of my family ended up in the hospital, Kimmie would make sure they had Sunshine Bear with them.

After my sister passed, I was gifted a Build-A-Bear. That bear, has a message from my sister saying "I love you all".

Now flash forward to today, February 14th, 2024. Kim has been gone for about a year and a half now...

I felt sorry for myself today. The day is, of course, Valentine's Day. I've struggled dating since Kim passed. (This is because the conversation of first dates inevitably shifts to asking questions about siblings. Then I have to explain what happened, and it gets awkward fast. )

So I have nothing to planned for Valentine's Day, but I know sitting at home will only make my feelings worse. So, I looked up what events were going on around my campus. Sure enough, there was an event called "Stuff a Plush". I knew I had to go.

(A few quick side notes, for the last year I've worn a necklace made from one of my sister's pour paintings. I also had the chance to dance with my sister before she passed to the song "Life Is a Highway" by Rascal Flatts.)

While I was at "Stuff a Plush", there was music playing over the speakers. The song "Life is a Highway" came on as I was working on my owl plush. As the song that has meant so much to me played, I remembered how at "Build-A-Bear" you put a "heart" into the bear.

I knew what I had to do. I took off my necklace, the physical manifestation of my grief since September of 2022. I put the pendant, inside of this owl. I then wrapped the chain from the necklace around the stuffed animal.

I'll be honest, it feels wrong not to wear one of Kim's necklaces. I have another one I may throw on occasionally, but I feel like this event helped me see that I don't need that part of me, all the time anymore.