Only Child: A New Dynamic

After my sister passed, I became an "only child". The relationship dynamic between my parents completely flipped overnight. I was no longer a secondary caregiver to a severely disabled child. My parents were able to focus all of their attention on their child which they hadn't been able to prior.

Due to the nature of my sister's disabilities, Kimmie always required most of my parent's focus. My parents really did try to give me the attention I deserved, but I didn't require the 24/7 focus liked my sister needed.

A large part of my relationship with my parents (especially in my later teenage years) was almost a business exchange. That sounds really bad, but that's the way it shook out. I could go to the high school football game if my dad got home from work in time. Or my mom could go to her girl's night if I got home from my date.

My "Superpower"

Growing up with my sister, I developed a sixth sense. I could text my parents at a random point in the day, and my sister would have just had a seizure. My parents wouldn't want me to worry, so they would lie. After I got home I would see how my sister was, I would get mad. Keeping it from me didn't last long.

After my sister's passing- I had both of my parent's full attention for the first time. I went from being the "middle child" to the "only child". In a way, it's super nice. I didn't need my "superpower" anymore. On the other hand, I would give anything to spend five more minutes with her.

Now that we're over a year since Kimmie passed, my relationship with my parents has gotten "better". I’m still not sure life will ever feel “normal” again.